WE.MUST.CHANGE !!!!!!!
THE CORNELL RAPE CASE
THIS IS OFF TOPIC AND I’M ANGRY
“I CAN’T DO MUCH, I JUST CAN’T DO NOTHING ANYMORE”
Yes, this is very off topic and maybe uncomfortable for some of you reading this ?
First, let’s not beat about the bush : This Happened !
This angers and upsets me and it’s personal and I’ll explain and it does relate to London Andrews and my relationship with her in a way.
Some of you may recall back in 2017 London posting a succession of stories and tales driven by the #METOO movement. She detailed in painful honestly the horrors that had been done to her. Not just in career as a nude model, but through out her life. It was upsetting to me in several ways, first, of course it hurt to learn the details of the abuse someone you really care about, has had to endure. And these stories of the abuses highlight the mental and emotional damage that had been inflicted on London by her abusers !
Yes, we knew ‘sort of’ (if you had been paying attention to what London had been talking about over the years) that London had been sexually and emotionally abused, even raped (!) in the past. But to have it laid out in detail was, for me and many others, heartbreaking.
Add to this the fact that my wife had at that time and with London’s help, only just begun to open up about the abuse she had suffered as a child ! And was starting to get the treatment she had so badly needed for so long. That added to the hurt.
But there is worse and this is the impact of #METOO and why I use this clip from the comic Daniel Sloss, calling out his former friend Russel Brand. It started conversations. Perhaps the only good thing from my point of view that came out of the whole experience, was to find that I was trusted. Girls I knew would talk to me. Open up to me about things….and that’s when ‘my world fell apart’ !
I found out that a former colleague and friend from the 1980’s and 1990’s had been a nasty abusive piece of shit ! When we’d been out on the town as mates, I never thought anything. But, later when we worked together, I was suspicious : But I Did Nothing ! And the guilt of this hurts me to this day.
We were supervisors and later he became a manager and he used his position of seniority to intimidate and abuse women and girls who worked for us and I was responsible for.
Years later with #METOO starting conversations, as tales were told to me by women who had remained friends with me, he was a central figure and I was told what this man had done. But more importantly, the thoughts of what I might have done and stopped him doing it, the guilt was devastating.
Some years later our paths crossed at a conference and my guilt drove me to have a bitter conversation with this nasty piece of work. And do you know what his defence was ? “And ?” He viewed as a ‘perk of the job’ !
What was worse, he throw something back at me, like an accusation about the 1980’s. Saying, I bet you got girls drunk, just so you could have them. He shocked me, he thought I was the same as him. Yes, I’d got girls drunk. But then made sure they got home safe. I did shag them in the back of the car because they were out cold ! I didn’t grope them in doorways because they couldn’t stop me and might not even remember.
The thought that he thought I was the same as he was, hurt the worst.
And this is the thing, it is no longer acceptable say, well I’m not like that. I’m not part of the problem. The problem is here and now and WE have to act to stop it. Or you are implicated by the problem.
Do you want others to think that you just like ‘that’ because, for whatever reason, you let them abuse.
“ I Can’t Do Much. But I Can’t Do Nothing Anymore !”
Please act and protect.
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